Check out our Amazon search history to see how we’re coping as a family during the pandemic. First, you’ll find a Doug and Melissa __Magic Responsibility Chart:__

Then there’s a book on __Scratch Jr__ , a kids’ programming language:

And finally (I promise, I’m not kidding), __an iPhone Prison:__

I know what you’re thinking: __What the heck is going on at the Hy household?__ * * * One of the most powerful takeaways from James Clear’s _Atomic Habits_ highlights a common form of self-sabotage: > __“You fall to the level of your systems,”__ You default to __hacks__ instead of __habits__. You chase __tools__ over __systems__. You do __$10/hr__ work over __$10,000/hr__ work. Which leads you right into __[the Shiny New Toy trap]()__.

IF I buy an _Ōura Ring_ THEN I will get better sleep. IF I buy a _[Whoop Fitness Strap]()_ THEN I will drink less Tequila. IF I buy a _new iPad Pro_ (with the new _Magic Keyboard_) THEN I’ll finally [start blogging](). * * * So back to the Shiny New Toys in our Amazon cart. IF we buy the _Responsibility Char_ t THEN our kids will let us have at least 1 adult conversation per day. IF we buy the _iPhone Prison_ THEN we won’t be distracted by our phones. IF we buy the _Scratch Jr Book_ THEN I’ll magically get more involved in my 6 year old’s home schooling. But in our heart of hearts we all know it’s a bunch hogwash. __It won’t work.__ * * * In my years of coaching high-performing executives and entrepreneurs, I’ve developed a 3-step framework to side-step the __Shiny New Toy Syndrome.__

Acquiring tools (i.e. Step 2) is easy. But tools in isolation are__just shiny new toys__ – they’ll never deliver the desired outcome. Let’s look at the other two steps: ## Step 1: Awareness Ask yourself: * What outcome will this tool deliver? * Why do I _really_ care about this outcome? * And finally, am I running from something deeper? With the _responsibility chart_ we want our kids’ to just _start behaving_. We want them to sleep in their beds at night. We want them to stop causing mommy and daddy to argue. And most importantly, we want to watch _Ozark_ in peace. But there’s a catch. They’re great kids. They’re well-behaved and sweet.They sleep through the night. And they’re __trying their best.__ So what is it that I really care about? I want more free time. Why? Well, to work more. It’s scary to be the sole breadwinner during a global pandemic. And furthermore, being “good at work” is a [big part of my identity](). So if you examine the big picture, buying the responsibility chart is motivated by my own desires to define myself by my work. ___See what just happened there?___ ## Step 2: Buy the tool We’re very good at that. Next! ## Step 3: Behavior change Let’s put aside the existential questions for a moment (is that _even allowed?_) and say that getting the kids to behave is a legit outcome. So why have our reward chart efforts always failed? We – as parents – __didn’t modify our behavior.__ What we needed to do was jointly __commit to reviewing__ the behaviors after dinner. We needed __consistency__ in enforcement. We needed __repetition__ of the vision – why should _they care_ about the outcome of good behavior. Nothing you buy on Amazon will transform life outcomes without __self-awareness__ and __behavior change.__ But when you combine the three, oh man. That’s where the effortless action – __the Wu Wei__ – kicks in. _Let’s design a life system to find that Wu Wei, sign up for[Supercharge Your Productivity with Notion](). Enrollment ends on May 6._