> _“You can give a child resources, but you can’t teach them resourcefulness.”_ This is one of the many gifts of being the kid of first-generation immigrants. And as a parent, I want to instill this resourcefulness in my kids. Am I in the minority? I guess so. According to Pew, nearly 60% of parents provide financial help to their adult kids. ## The Bank of Mom and Dad In the recent article [Well Into Adulthood and Still Getting Money From Their Parents](), the Wall Street Journal details two types of financial assistance: household expenses and a down payment on a home (aka [Nepo-Homebuyers]()). But before we dive in, I need to show my hand. I grew up lower-middle class in NYC. I attended NYC private school (on the equivalent of a scholarship). My dad’s employer paid [a big chunk of my college tuition]() and I graduated with zero debt. If you think of my family lineage in the terms Maslow’s Hierarchy you’ll see that my parents came to the US with a simple goal. Provide us with food, water, safety and stability – our _physiological needs._ ![Blog post image](/images/blog/image-4-1024x572.png) And thanks to their hard work, sacrifices and prudent financial planning, the bottom two rungs have always been off the table for me. Thus, I’m in the privileged position to tend to my psychological needs. And if everything goes as planned, self-actualize. ![Blog post image](/images/blog/image-5-1024x573.png) Which leads to a downstream question. What about _my kids?_ ## It’s all about the Netflix subscription Now, back to the __Bank of Mom and Dad.__ It turns out that 14% of parents support their adult kids with “household expenses, such as phone bills and subscriptions to streaming services like Netflix.” But that help extends well beyond being able to watch [the Beckham documentary]() on mommy and daddy’s credit card. About __one-fifth__ __of first-time home buyers__ get help from a relative for a down payment. And according to Redfin, __38% of home buyers under the age of 30__ received help from their parents. ## Die with Zero In our household, Lisa and I have spoken about how we might address this in the future. We [earn well](), while [investing aggressively]() and don’t have particularly expensive tastes (besides [renting by the beach]()). So when it’s all said and done, there’s gonna be some greenbacks left in the pot. We’re on the same page about [not leaving a meaningful inheritance]() and are [more inclined to Die with Zero](). After all, you’ve considered this, right? So we’d like to help them along the way. Despite the fact that [I secretly judged all my friends]() whose parents helped with their down payments, our kids will have the option to be _nepo-homebuyers._ An open question is if we’d help support them if they chose a career that didn’t pay much (teaching, the arts, non-profits). Our hunch is yes; but then you get into questions of fairness, motivation, patience – and of course – __resourcefulness.__ Like I said at the jump: “You can give a child resources, but you can’t teach them resourcefulness.” Thankfully, we have some time on our side to figure this out. * * * ## Should we work together? ___Are you a high-performing professional trying to raise grounded kids amidst financial success? Join[one of our upcoming coaching cohorts]() to intentionally think through these issues with likeminded peers.___